Being with an Autistic Friend in a Japanese School
Poetic Auto Ethnographer: Hina Kimura
Participant: Japanese student reflecting on her experiences with her autistic friend
Project: Responding to autism
Source: Poetic auto ethnography facilitated by Dr. Fang-Yu Liao
Grade 5
On a very sunny day in the morning
Teacher is taking attendance
People
are still talking
Someone
just came late
Nothing different from every day until
A girl came in to my class
A new student!
It suddenly lighted my boring life
I want to talk to
her
I want to know
about her
Hey,
what’s your name?
………
Which
city are you from?
………
What
do you like to do?
………
The calm between us is
heavy, like a huge rock. but somehow, not uncomfortable.
People are making noise
background as always. but I like to stay in this quiet moment.
Maybe she is nervous today, Tomorrow will be different
She doesn’t like Onions
She has not spoken any words yet
I have been talking to her every day but no replies
It has been already a month
She should be already used to this school!
The day suddenly came beside my worries
I want to hear her
voice
I want to
communicate with her
Hey,
which one do you like better, dogs or cats?
… “nod”
!!
dogs??
“nod”
Me
too! I have dogs do you wanna come to my house?
“nod”
Wow wow wow she answered!
She replied with a gesture and a little bit of smile
What kind of food you don’t like?
Mushrooms Peppers
Carrots Onions
Tomato
Cucumbers ………!!
Junior high school
In the new environment with
new people is always exciting
A special day with a good start
until I found out that
She is alone!
She acts exactly like the
day she moved to my city!!
My mind suddenly changed
from happy to conflict
I want to keep
talking with new friends
But I don’t want to
leave her alone
‘Hey
hina, do you wanna be in our group?’
Yeah! Uh, can she be in the same group too?
‘Ah,
okay…, hey! nice to meet you’
…………
‘Haha…
maybe she is shy?’
Well…
haha
She is not shy
This is just how she is when she meets
new people
Do not misunderstand her
Once she gets used to them, she will
show herself
But when? Will she take a
month to communicate again?
Or will it be shorter this time?
I want more people to know
about her
I am worried
Third year in Junior high school
Time to
decide the step for the future
The gap in
our grade has been great
It is
impossible to go to the same high school like this
Her beautiful handwriting is affecting in the
exam
I suddenly
feel anxious about our future
She needs me
I have to support
her in high school!
Hey, you can fill all the exam if you
have enough time, right?
… yeah
Then
you need to write faster.
You
cannot keep
erasing when you don’t like how it looks
……
Otherwise,
we have to separate the high school!
…It’s better to take time than writing like the
way I don’t like
Why she
prefers to take time to write than filling the exam?
What is the point of writing it
beautifully in the exam?
I don’t
ger her
I don’t
get her at all
Will she do fine alone in high
school?
February
People are
getting more stressed before the entrance exam of high school
It was an
ordinary day until she told me
…I have
been bullied
By some
girls
I felt
like a meteorite hit my head in sudden
I need to protect
her
But I cannot be
like this forever!
Do you know why they bully you?
Girls
said I am useless
and too
dependent on you
You are
not! You are getting independent, even made some friends so far!
I am fine, we are almost to graduate
Do you need my support?
No, I can handle it
This is
the first time I heard she said something like this
Now she knows how to make more
friends
Now she knows people who understand
her
Now I know she was no longer need
my support
Now I know it is time for us to
develop our own future
We both stand
on the ground
The calm between us is not as heavy as before.
